WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
