is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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