i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
