If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The best revenge is premature balding
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
