i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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