I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
