Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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