Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's great music for shaving your balls
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
