Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
