So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
