you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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