If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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