This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
