tell your sister to shave her snatch
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
