Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
