i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
