Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
