I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
