Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
