She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
