she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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