I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
