Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
