I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
