Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
