Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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