so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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