please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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