I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
