God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone came in the potted fern
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
