Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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