i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
