Your dad touched me again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You're like the curious george of whores
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
