I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
