i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
