im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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