I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
