We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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