I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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