Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize