Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
