he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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