Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
