Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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