I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
