Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
