By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
