Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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