yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
