Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
