Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
