I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
is that a dick in a sweater?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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