i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
