He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
